Carry On Little Light
by Kirabaros
Summary: Sam and Angie are being held by the Men of Letters. Sam is being tortured and Angie is unable to do anything. Things look dire but Angie is all about keeping hope and believing there is a way. Tag to the season 12 premier Keep Calm and Carry On


**Carry On Little Light**

 _I need you to patch him up and to check on her. She has a little package._

She wanted to open her eyes the moment she heard that annoying British accent but she couldn't. She had been trying to wake up since something flew and hit her on the neck. She had reacted to the shot because… because that bitch shot Sam.

Angela tolerated little when it came to her family being hurt or used as leverage. It was one of the reasons she had protested against her and Sam starting a relationship. But he wanted to and was persistent, the quality she loved best about him. So when that little bitch Antonia shot him, she was not a happy camper and was prepared to unleash hell on her. She didn't get the chance though and she was down.

She cursed herself because she was still exhausted from helping Amara and Chuck earlier. She was weak but she could sense the baby was okay. Just as was promised. It still made her upset because she couldn't do anything to help Sam and they not only wanted Sam but they wanted her too. She shouldn't have been surprised since she had worked with the Men of Letters and still thought they were a bunch of pretentious assholes.

She felt the hands on her and she heard Sam protesting through his gag yet she couldn't open her eyes. It was like she was in a state of limbo or something like that. She couldn't move her limbs at all even though she wanted to comfort her mate. She could hear and feel what was being done to her. All she could do was listen and try to fight whatever it was in her system.

 _What is wrong with me? Why can't I wake up?_

"You know Cat, after everything you've been through you still have to ask?"

Angela heard it but knew he wasn't there. Gabriel was still on lockdown since he was still relearning how to use his powers, like a teenager undergoing puberty. All because of the spell Nathir, the Celtic god of wisdom, gave her as a reward for retrieving him out of Purgatory. And this voice was the older version, how she remembered him.

Focusing, she managed to 'open' her eyes and she found herself back in the Men of Letters bunker. It was empty and looking down, she found herself not pregnant. She realized she was inside her mind in one of those places she created as a retreat when she practiced focus and other things that she had learned under Sigrid. She turned and saw Gabriel standing there as she remembered before Lucifer killed him. She gestured at him, "Remembered?"

"Sort of," Gabriel replied with a smirk. "I gotta hand it to ya, Cat. The whole working up your spirit thing… you sure know how to get in touch with the mind."

"That was Morpheus," Angela corrected as she looked around. She looked up when she heard a voice.

 _We could just kill her. After all the old men consider her expendable._

 _No. They want to know what she knows. She has been cooperative in the past._

"You cooperate?" Gabriel chuckled at that. He put his hands on his hips. "What did you get yourself into?"

"Be glad that you weren't blasted off like Cas," Angela replied as she gasped. She had felt her body being lowered and bumped. "Okay."

"You can feel and hear what is going on but you can't do anything about it." Gabriel watched her as she looked around taking deep breaths. "Just like when you went…"

"To the Land of the Dead. I know," she finished. She closed her eyes as she remembered everything that happened before Sam got shot. She recalled seeing the woman and… "She injected me with something that rendered me unconscious but I was put under before and didn't do this." She looked around with a frown.

"Maybe it's your subconscious or instinct, Cat," Gabriel replied with a shrug. "All I know is that I needed to get in touch with you when I heard the noise upstairs and the puppies whining. This was the best way since we still don't have what we once had."

Angela acknowledged that as she looked around. She instinctively put her hand to her flat abdomen, feeling a little lost since she couldn't feel the familiar roundness nor the gentle movements of the life she was carrying. She turned her gaze to the library tables where they had spent more time doing research and general hanging out.

"So… who's the bitch I heard?"

Angela looked at Gabriel and was about to speak when she felt a sudden chill down her spine and it felt… wet? She gasped at the chill since she didn't expect it but it wasn't her chill. She felt it but she wasn't getting the treatment. She looked at Gabriel and then closed her eyes, letting her powers work though. _Sam?_

 _Angie?_

Angela gave a slight smile as she heard Sam's voice. Well it was his mind speaking to her but still it was better than nothing. And it wasn't like they didn't occasionally did that to tease Dean.

 _Are you okay? The baby?_

 _The baby is fine Sam. They promised._ Angela knew he was worried. He must have been worried when she didn't wake up at all. More likely he put up a fight if he saw someone touch her and her stomach. _I'm okay. I just can't move._

 _What do you mean?_

 _Whatever they injected me with… I can hear and feel what's going on but I can't move. Like a coma maybe._

 _Like when you rescued me._

Angela paused at that. Of course he would remember that. He would remember seeing her engage in a spiritual war with Dean by her side not just because the spirits of the tribe had been enslaved but because he had been taken. _Yes. I guess. Sam… what are they doing?_

 _They want information and I told them to go screw themselves. I got a cold shower._

That was the reason for the chill. She could feel what Sam was feeling; all part and parcel of their bond. She had gotten good at blocking most things out and the same for him since daily emotions were like white noise and with her being pregnant… Besides it was only in extreme distress that they would use it or like her where her inhibitions were down. _Well I can attest to Chinese water torture being effective._

 _We were tortured in hell._ You _were a torturer of demons. You'd laugh at this._

Maybe she would since she had been tortured herself by demons and rogue hunters/slayers but it wasn't a laughing matter. She knew what extreme interrogation entailed. _Maybe but… don't treat this lightly, Sam. I know the Men of Letters and while here they are okay. The British… you want to know why I am such a bitch with the Centurion?_

 _I get it but… they still are a joke._

Angela sighed at that. She knew that Sam was only reacting to the situation and he was pissed. She knew that it was combination that he really didn't know what happened to Dean and because she was in the state she was in. He was in alpha mode and being defiant was his way of getting through it.

 _I'm going to get us out of here. One way or another._

Angela believed that he could. It was a matter of whether or not he would be able to. _I believe you._

It seemed to be what he needed to hear. She could sense his defiance. She opened her eyes to find Gabriel looking at her, waiting for an explanation. It was then she felt a burning sensation and she cried out and fell to her knees. She cried out in pain and pressed the underside of her wrists to her forehead and cried out, "Sam!"

~0~0~0~0~

Sam grimaced from the pain from the burns. Maybe he was being stupid about this but really? He didn't know if Dean was dead or alive and these assholes had his wife locked up somewhere and he had no idea what they were doing to her. All he knew was that she was virtually vulnerable and unable to defend herself and their baby physically and that had him pissed.

After being soaked in a cold shower, he had his foot burned by a blowtorch. The pain was intense and he couldn't help but cry out. He ended up passing out from it but he didn't give that bitch of a torturer the satisfaction of any answers. It was the same answer: he told them to screw themselves. They thought he was the problem? Please.

He opened his eyes to find himself sitting in chair in the Men of Letters bunker. He frowned until he saw Angela on the floor breathing heavily. He saw Gabriel kneeling next to her and encouraging her to breathe. He was out of his chair and by her side, "Angie. Gabe, what happened?"

"Short answer: You. Long answer: You," Gabriel offered as he let Sam take over stroking her back. "Did you forget that you two can feedback each other?"

"Shut up, Gabe," Angela muttered as she pushed herself up.

Sam sat back on his heels, aware that he wasn't feeling pain in his leg or his foot and looking at his wife, she didn't look pregnant. Now he knew that he was inside her head or something. He glared at the archangel that looked as how he remembered from when they first met even though he looked different now. He directed his attention to Angela and helping her sit up. "What happened?"

"Nothing to me," Angela replied as she looked at Sam. "But to you. I… felt the cold shower and… the burns."

"I'm sorry."

"Don't be. Not your fault. Nobody's fault. It's what it is." Angela adjusted herself to be sitting on the floor. "I guess I pulled you here when you passed out. It's a place I go to when I practice focus."

Sam looked around. He understood enough from dream walking to get a grasp on it even if it was a little distance. "I'm sorry Angie," he apologized. "They want information on other hunters and…"

"Don't believe their bullshit. They collar and execute without asking. It's why I stopped my associations with them. And I may have called them a bunch of pretentious assholes that know nothing about the world we work in." Angela gave a slight shrug and a sigh. She looked around. "And probably why they want me. They won't interrogate me since they do know that I have a few standing friendships."

"Not to mention a goddess that would be pissed," Gabriel muttered as he looked around at nothing.

"The point it that they won't hurt me but they will hurt you."

"And it hurts you in the process," Sam countered. "I can't…"

"Sam," Angela stopped Sam by putting her fingertips on his lips. "You can. The easy part is over." She looked at him intently.

"Easy?"

"I know extreme interrogation. Perfected it," she replied firmly. "Physical is easy to deal with. And you and I both know how that works. It's the mental that's the hard part. They are going to fuck with your mind." She was past being nice with her language. "There are ways to do that but the most effective is being drugged but you have something that they won't anticipate."

Sam bent to hear more but his body woke up and he found that he was back where he had been kept. He was on the floor and he felt the pain in his leg and foot. He also felt a throb in his neck and put his hand up to feel the puncture wound. He realized it was exactly how Angela said it would happen. He knew she was right but he had been in a state of panic. He always hated that he ever hurt her directly or indirectly but she never blamed him. She picked up and carried on.

He eased himself into the chair and looked at his injuries. His foot was bandaged but it still hurt. His leg had been patched up and it still hurt. It meant that he was still alive. But the unknown with whatever he had been injected with… He didn't know what to anticipate.

 _I'm with you Sam._

He stiffened slightly as he heard her voice. He closed his eyes and could imagine her hands touching his face, running her fingers through his hair. He wasn't a kid anymore but those almost motherly gestures were more of a comfort to him. _I'm here, Angie_ , he replied as he looked around. He had to find a way out.

The hallucinations started a few moments later. The loud ringing and then the memories… It was like reliving in high definition. He saw what he had done to Dean when Lucifer was wearing him to the prom. He saw his fist hitting her. He saw Jessica when she died. Then the voices started coming. It was too much like when Lucifer tormented him.

 _Sam, focus. Listen to my voice. There is only me._

It was enough to get him to come up with a plan. It was hard to carry out since he still heard the voices but he focused on hers. She was talking to him, repeating the same thing.

 _There is only me. Focus on your goal._

It would have worked but it didn't and Sam felt defeat when he couldn't get out of the basement where he was being kept. He slumped on the stairs and was there into the night rubbing his head against the railing slightly. They were in a fix. He doubted there was anyone to come and rescue them unless Gabriel tried something but to the supernatural, he was dead. That he was back would have a bunch of questions and maybe nothing good coming from it. That and he wouldn't know what to do to get his wife out if she wasn't awake.

 _It'll be okay, Sam._

Sam sniffed at that as he contracted his body. He was cold and ached all over. _I don't know Angie. No one is coming._

 _You don't really believe that do you?_

Sam sniffed again as he leaned against the railing. He could sleep but he wasn't comfortable. And he might be torturing himself to get some relief that his wife was okay even if in a comatose state only to be taken away when he woke up and faced it all over again.

 _Sam, it will be okay._

 _How? I'm in here and you're… wherever and not able to protect yourself or the baby._

 _The baby will be fine. That is a promise._

Sam made a slight face but kept his head down. No need to let whoever was watching to see that he looked like he had cracked when in fact he was only talking to his wife. It was one thing he had over them. They didn't know about them unless they had some idea and they weren't sure about the whole of it. It was a lingering thought that crossed his mind as he sat there. It was hopeless.

"Nothing is hopeless, Sam."

Sam didn't look. It had to be the drugs in his system kicking in again. Then he felt a hand touch his face. This had to be a trick. He refused to look up.

"It's not a trick. Just a little different."

Sam finally shifted a little to have a good look. The hand was still there. It was then he saw her. His wife was there and she looked as he had last seen her before this. He was tempted to reach out and touch her but refrained. He stared at her with a pained expression.

"I'm not here really and you are not hallucinating." Angela looked at Sam as she smiled gently and touched his face, caressing it gently. "This is one of the ways spiritual warriors fight. They can manifest their spirits to fight other spirits that can't be seen when they get to vengeful spirit mode. They can only be seen by those they want to see."

Sam felt his lip twitch and gave a half smile. He remained silent since he wasn't sure if the woman Antonia could see what he was seeing or not. Better he not give any indication he could but he did shift his eyes in the direction of the camera he had noticed.

It didn't seem to matter since Angela just accepted it and explained. "If she sees me, then she would come barging in or do something to my body to wake me up. But to make things easier, I will just stay here with you."

As if to do what she said, she walked over and sat next to Sam. She leaned over him and started caressing his head being careful not to create too much of a disturbance. Sam just accepted it. He knew that she was real. He was not going to try and question it but… it was a comfort. He knew that it was not going to be simple to get out of there. Not with his injuries and her condition. And there was the nagging thought that no one was going to come.

Sam lowered his gaze and shut his eyes the moment he started hearing her sing. He recognized the song. It was one she had made up one day when she was spacing out after their return trip to the cage. It spoke of all the things that mattered in life and that darkness was not evil but a shade that clouded the way. When it was lifted, the light came again.

He remembered thinking it odd since she had been scared at the time because Amara knew her from a long time ago and it was a life she didn't remember or wasn't sure of at the time. He remembered thinking that it sounded sympathetic to Amara even though she had been sucking souls of people. She never could explain why she thought it that way but she would sing it every now and then for no particular reason except that it felt right.

Sitting there in the dark, Sam was certain that he knew why. It was a song that could be taken literally but meant so much more. It was a part of who the woman he loved was and one of many things he loved about her. Sitting there in the dark, it gave him some courage to keep going. He had to stay strong if he was going to figure out how to help his family. He muttered his thanks in Enochian, grateful that he had her teach him a few words.

She merely brushed his locks and hummed the tune before starting the song again. Sam hummed a bit and figured that it wouldn't hurt. It wasn't like they were going to think anything except that he was trying to keep his sanity. He would do as the song said and keep what it was talking about. He would carry on the little light, the light of hope, and think of something.

* * *

 **A/N:** Sam is being tortured and Angie is unable to help. Sounds like things are dire. Tag to Keep Calm and Carry On. Enjoy.


End file.
